1-FAKE SUPPORT Tracksuits and baseball caps and souvenir flags/Almost covered up your farce/Fake support/No support (When North Korea qualified for the 2010 World Cup, their government hired Chinese actors to attend the tournament posing as North Korean fans. Pathetic, depressing, or hilarious? You decide.) 2-THROUGH THE SCALP AND INTO THE BRAIN The glob of gel atop your head/Has moulded your pea brain instead/It doesn't look cool/It doesn't look tough/Unimpressionable fans have had enough/Play the game/Fuck your hair (We're sick of the pretty boy bullshit. Fauxhawks don't putt butts in seats.) 3-DEFEND We defend/We protect/Hounded by a faceless enemy/101 needs us as friends/Cowards throwing empty threats/As if 101 will relent/Or else what will become of the great goals I won't have seen? (101greatgoals.com is a website that shares links to match highlights and other videos from around the world, but they're constantly under legal threat from media-copyright-bullshit assholes.) 4-QATAR 2022 - FUCK YOU No fucking chance you hear me?/Suffocating heat, awful team/A homophobic sexist bigot's dream/Not in '22, Not in '26/Not in 2030, never!/Not in 2050, never! (Where to begin? Qatar, a tiny oil-rich country in the Persian Gulf with no credible footballing history was selected as the host for the 2022 World Cup, despite having backwards laws and attitudes regarding homosexuals and women. FIFA is always first to pretend to care about these issues in football, but they've kept their mouth shut since this announcement. There's still time before the tournament to try and end FIFA's vile and corrupt stranglehold on the beautiful game of football.) 5-IF I HAD SEVERAL BILLION DOLLARS The sheikh is out for a day on the town/Wants to find a cure for his permanent frown/But just a second something's caught his eye/Ruining football, he thinks, might as well try/Fuck you sheikh/You kill football/You kill fun (This rich dumb fuck from the United Arab Emirates bought Manchester City Football Club in 2008, and at this time he's spent around a billion dollars on transfer fees and salaries, building a superteam of astronomically rich mercenaries. Still can't make it out of the Champions League group stages, though.) 6-EMPTY HEAD Richard Keys, Andy Gray/Time for you fucks to call it a day/Backwards, braindead sexist men/Won't be hearing from you again/Football is for everyone (Two commentators were fired from their SkySports posts last year for saying some extremely poisonous stuff about a female ref's assistant with their mics still on. Two down, many more macho neck-snaps to go.) 7-THAT WHICH UNITES We are X, you are Y, there is no in between/Enemies before we learned to walk/We all speak a universal language/But of course we learned the swear words first/You're with us or against us/What colour is your shirt? (You're a football fan first, and a fan of your team second. That's something a lot of people need to remember more often.) 8-THE FINEST BUTCHER IN ALL OF MANCHESTER Welcome to the Eastlands butcher shop/My name is Nigel and I'll cut you up/You won't gain access to the final third/Hacked to pieces before you speak a word/Can I interest you in a leg of Ben Arfa?/Or better yet, a fillet of Alonso breast? From Nigel de Jong, only the very best (This guy still makes it his duty as a defensive midfielder to break as many legs as possible.) 9-IN NINETY MINUTES, I CAN DIE In ninety minutes I can die/In ninety minutes you can kill me/In ninety minutes I can die/Just let me hear the final whistle (Football is amazing.) ___________________________________ Second Yellow is: Tottenham (Drums+Argh), Arsenal (Guitar) ___________________________________ Second Yellow applauds: Gummers, Mattie/Clean Up Your Act!, Ryan, Matt/Rape Revenge, Egyptian Art Strike, you! ___________________________________ www.secondyellow.bandcamp.com